hari raya is just around the corner, and as the likes of other fellow malaysian and muslims, the heat is strong day by day. we can see each faces glimmer with smiles and happiness, whether you are a young boy or and old chap, everyone is captivated by the joy of celebrating the festivities.
Remdan will be missed, and hoping that we shall meet the fasting month all over again next year.
17 March 2026
EID
23 February 2026
strings re-attached
time heals
that's a fact , and I think this time, i have to apreciate the oppurtunity to the fullest, and never take it for granted again.
until we see again
16 February 2026
adrift
well, it's taken almost couple of weeks now, and there's a slight progress in the making, but I ain't sure it's in the positive way or vice versa. still hoping that all the troubles could be managed strategically and the struggle isn't the main concern now.
the difference in view really pays it's due I think. toughen up and repel the unnecessary things. try to remain in calm and analyze any oppurtunity that should be taken, and try to grasp it as tight as I could, so this time there's no doubt about me that can be cried out anymore. any distractions have been terminated, and now all that matters is that I can feel and retouch the vibrant and pure fragrance of the once blooming seed.
still making the climb I think
a decade still young, and many still need to be learned
time heals, and I hope the phrase were true indeed
06 February 2026
one step at a time
how do you get back from falling deep down the abysmal black hole?
that's a question that still left unanswered, although there's many response that you can get from so called philosopher, fake prophet and the wannabe in the social media platform, seems there's no actual answer that can put the sequence back in it's perspective.
people will show you how they cope with the situation by giving you how they manage to resolve their own shit, and as you can see, each person have their own way of comeback and that's how we can realize that each one have had their own perspective on their own inner play. the problems may vary and each of them differs depends on the weight, the obstacle and the person who face it. that is why we always heard different solution and different findings while the real question that we heard are just the same.
thus, just start to repair the broken, even it is hard and we always believe that there's a little chance that things will be the same again. every chances matters. we have to gain back the strenght, and try to brave the storm little by little, and keep our feet rooted tightly so we won't flew and drawn to the swirling wind and back once more to that deep hole.
it's a challenge, but it isn't impossible.
...............................................................
heh, it's easier to be said than to be done, but at least it's a progress right?
03 February 2026
when you went right, but it actually left
mainly, interpretation of some issue that comes but you easily accepted the information based on your own perception.
why people doesn't take issues and see it from all the perspective given, but seldom tend to choose the reason that suits their belief, I mean you already have your judgement before you scroll down the evidence. so where's the justice?
but, we just can blame it all on prejudice, sometimes the problem that appears solely comes from your own fault, and you had to admit it. But that's the problem ; people tend to make assumption based on your past faultiness, that actually have been ridden mostly entirely.
our minds work mysteriously, and we as human doesn't always make a true judgement and as always, bias will come into picture. we aren't robots that can analyze things based on what they were programmed to, and they just see things as simple as 1 and 0.
yeah, problems do come and go, and technically that's how people can evolve and gain experience, hence we develope ourselves as we try to solve it.
but sometimes, there's problem so deep that you feel that you're hanging by a thread and anytime the steep gorge will consume you , whether you're ready or not. sometimes you feel so hopeless like you just think ending thyself is the solution, and also sometimes you think that all the burden of this world was weighted on your shoulder,even walking seems impossible.
truely, you only know who you are, it's hopeless to reason with people when they have their own perception on you, and trying to justify is just a waste of time. what's left is just your trust and believe in the Almighty. but we will keep moving on, that's life man. Time will tell, that someday the soothing light at the end of the tunnel comes, and there's paradise awaits.
07 May 2025
remembrance
tengah kerja, teringat kepada blog lama.
cuba untuk kembali menulis, namun keazaman sudah tiada
mungkin masa semakin mencemburui kita
apakan daya, hidup ini pelbagai onaknya
fasa berubah, dan kita juga sama
bagaikan arus air, menelusur sifatnya
semakin lama, semakin deras geraknya
menuju ke kuala, berjumpa kali seterusnya
akhirnya lepas bebas ke lautan samudera
dan dihitung pula, di alam yang bukan fana
23 August 2023
time
belum kira fucked up governing agency lagi.
02 August 2023
diam
setalah bertahun laman ini tidak bersentuh, terasa satu impak kelainan bersarang di minda, dahulu aku lebih kepada bercerita, meluah serta berkongsi apa yang aku rasa,apa yang aku pendam serta apa yang aku fikirkan, namun masa itu satu entiti yang kejam, masa itu ibarat sebuah kereta kebal yang gagah, menghentam dan menghenyak aku sehingga aku tidak mampu melakukan apa-apa. jika dihitung tempoh yang berlalu , sebenarnya banyak yang aku ingin ceritakan, dan banyak yang ingin aku coretkan, tetapi masa itu terlalu suntuk untuk aku berbuat demikian.aku kini lebih kepada menyerap dan hadam segala apa yang terjadi dan secara tidak langsung, aku lebih ke arah mempersetankan segala hal dan mengambil pendirian untuk menjadi kaku dan bertabah walau sekuat mana badai yang menghunus.
dua perkara yang menjadi pengimbang dalam aku menelurusi kehidupan kini adalah persekitaran kerja dan komitmen kepada keluarga. satu bahagian amat aku benci dan satu bahagian adalah sumber kebahagiaan aku. aku cuma perlu untuk melaras titik pertemuan antara dua perkara ini agar kewarasan aku masih di paras normal dan tidak mula berdamping ke arah kemusnahan.
"selagi hayat dikandung badan, budi yang baik dikenang jua"
cukup aku tutup di sini dahulu buat masa sekarang. fikiran aku berkecamuk,menerobos ruang untuk diluah namun tersekat sekat.mungkin hasil diam berkali musim. insyaallah aku cuba untuk tulis lagi pada masa akan datang.
aku cuba
72 seasons of sorrow
-alfer-
21 May 2020
global threat: death is in the air
Cuma apa yang menjadi satu realiti adalah satu pandemik.. diulang, PANDEMIK yang melanda bukan sahaja negara berdaulat Malaysia, namun seluruh dunia.
CORONA VIRUS DISEASE 2019 atau nama yang lebih mudah disebut dan dihafal oleh anak-anak aku iaitu Covid-19. Tapi sebab aku power, aku tulis C19 sahaja bagi menjimatkan masa dan lenguh jari menaip, walaupun sesungguhnya banyak sudah marhaen merujuk wabak ini sebagai C19, tapi aku gila publisiti, aku acah-acah seperti aku yang mula. pebende aku mengarut ni.
Aku tak bercadang untuk bercerita berkenaan wabak ini, sebab seantero pelusuk dunia dari Kepulauan Galapagos terus ke Srivijaya membawa ke Segenting Kra memperkatakan berkenaan pandemik ini. aku cuma nak mengaitkan perkara ini dengan pandemik yang agak popular dan cult, nampak mengarut namun kebarangkalian untuk terjadi itu ada : Zombie Apocalypse.
Buat mereka yang masih tertanya-tanya ape kejadah zombie apocalypse ni, mari sini saya terangkan.
"Zombie Apocalypse is a collapses of civilization due to swarms of zombies overwhelming social, law-enforcement, and military structures. Typically, only a few individuals or small bands of survivors are left of the living". Penerangan secara ringkas maksud berkenaan, dan dapat aku kaitkan dengan situasi semasa di mana pandemik yang melanda adalah secara global dan total, dan merebaknya pandemik ini adalah senyap dan pantas,sepantas ben johnson namun dikalahkan jua oleh michiko.Cuma yang masih membuatkan kita menarik nafas lega adalah bilangan manusia yang sihat masih lagi ramai, terima kasih di atas kepantasan petugas-petugas kesihatan dan pihak berkuasa yang berhempas pulas untuk membendung pandemik ini.
Imaginasi aku membayangkan bahawa sistem yang mendokong manusia akan lumpuh,semua dark side manusia akan mula timbul di mana untuk survive, kebinatangan akan melebihi kewarasan fikiran (walaupun sifat kebinatangan itu adalah lebih baik jika dibandingkan sifat kemanusiaan yang hanya berbunyi sedap tetapi penuh kejijikan).manusia mula menjadi selfish, huru hara akan melanda, munculnya manusia manusia yang akan mengaku sebagai penyelamat (messiah) , dan manusia juga akan mula mencari puak-puak tersendiri dan bergaduh sesama clan masing masing. Pada masa itu , yang masih hidup berharap mati adalah jalan penyelesaian. pergh! imaginasi macam gampang, hahaha
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| among the best zombie flick for me, the zombies were quite 'friendly', but the story was sooo entertaining,british style |
Kalau nak cerita panjang lebar pasal zombie ni memang banyak la nak dibincangkan, namun seperti aku tulis kat atas, bagi menjimatkan masa dan aku sudah mula lenguh menekan papan kekunci ni, jadi serba sedikit sudah aku dah terangkan, tapi jangan ambil serius sangat la apa aku tulis ni, ini cuma pandangan peribadi aku yang banyak terpengaruh dengan filem genre zombie ni.kah kah kah
Cuma satu aku suka nak ingatkan. Persamaan antara C19 dengan zombifikasi ini satu : semuanya bermula dari sifat kemanusiaan yang lebih teruk dari kebinatangan.
18 November 2016
17 October 2016
pacuan 4 roda kecil berjenama TAMIYA
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| ammar launch sendiri kete, pemain termuda |
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| ammar yang ceria sebab dapat tangkap kete |
14 October 2016
hardwired...to self destruct (cont.)
tunggu sikit punye lama,8 tahun penyudahnye
bulan 11 baru release worldwide,katenyelah...
kat malaysia bulan berape tak tau la...
aku sikit lagi nak sell out layan dangdut...mujur ada pamoga
13 October 2016
sembang kosong sembang tak nak jatuh sembang kepale butoh (cont.)
ade orang dah terkesan dgn statement membabi buta yang aku buat tu
hahaha
aku dah cakap,aku ni bab buat sakit hati org mmg champion la
minta maaf? tgk dulu, entah ye ke tidak dia marah ke aku
kot2 dia marah ke benda lain
tapi tulah, aku main agak je ade org marah
aku rase la...
moth into flames
-alfiesyahril-
sembang kosong sembang tak nak jatuh sembang kepala butoh
27 September 2016
23 September 2016
menulis
02 February 2016
gadisku
28 January 2016
nor neglecting it also isn't the way it should be
by far,this life seems to test me from each side,
the fulfillment of necessary things, sometimes brings me to a stage
where everything looks desperating,sometimes mesmerizing
i'm a sinner, and i tend to make mistake
i do
because perfect i'm not...so blame me and i won't grumble
but insulting me is another whole level
i'm a mere human, i have feelings,i have my own task
all i need is a little respect
respect from a human to another human
yeah, nobody can't accept the repeated mistake
but who am i to stop it,
i'm still trying
if you can be in my shoe just for a day
just for a day
you will understand how struggling i am
how hard to fight
how hard to reconcile
how hard to satisfy others
honestly,i'm still trying
nothing i will regret,this life is a bless
although it brings me hard times
i won't back up,
i won't
and i'll try my best
18 August 2015
numtan pt. 2
angan-angan berkereta mewah,keluarga kaya raya dan ditambah pakej porak peranda
rakyat malaysia sukakan mimpi2 indah
berangan tak sudah
tapi cerita numtan ni bukan satu kisah cereka,yang ni cerita berpaksikan yang benar-benar belaka
cerita cinta antara negara
kau orang biase dengar dalam cerita,tapi ni realiti depan mata aku
seorang pengemis cinta mengharap kasih yang terbatas antara sempadan ,namun kuasa cinta itu tiada berkesudahan
gampang...rase nk mencarut aku nk menulis
08 July 2015
numtan
ini kisah cinta
kisah cinta ini benar,walaupun kadang2 mcm sial pun ade
tapi xkesahlah,tuan punye suruh cerita
aku ceritalah...
nak taip pun dah mula menyampah dah....





