something that keep bothering me,and as always,it keep me bothered
but sometimes i realize that i need something to bother me,because it will keep me busy,and ignoring the thing that bothers me before... so it is difficult to question what the wrongdoings i have done before,and what must i do to keep it from bothering me again and again... i think, the solution that i have to make,mustn't affect anybody,and doesn't effect to somebody... so any suggestion? i'm totally in dilemma right now
no need to gone with the sin again,i had enough of it already...
you're torn apart
-alfiesyahril-
time
8 months ago
Lini :
ReplyDeletehye.I know that i'm nobody for you to share the experience and suggestions for what keeps you bothered. I let the things passed me not with total honesty. yet I have to face it because im the one who decided it. im working like a machine to forget whatever bothers me. it goes the same here mcm mana i faced the same bothering things while we're still studying. i forget by working and focusing.yet, it doesnt selesaikan all of the things. and this silence that i had created kills me deep inside. so my way is a wrong way. dont follow me. if i have my choice here, i want to be happy. happy and free. but i dont. i want you to be happy. dont be just like me. im just a total loser.
keep going, rockstar. u can do it.
it is not as easy as it looks, but til today i am thankful that i manage to handle it,but it move really slow,and it hurts so much,until then,i arrive at a certain points where i can accept what happen,and keep going on, because my heart speaks to me that there are many obstacle up ahead,far more challenging and hard to be taken,and as long as you keep believing in yourself, there nothing can hit us down...always think before you act, please remember that,please...
ReplyDeletelini
ReplyDelete"it is not easy as it looks"
= do you think i had easy times when we're torn apart.
kenapa awak salu sgt bercerita tentang ape awk rasa, ape yg awak emo, and awk tak sedar ke ape yg awk ckp, ape yg awk kongsi kadang2 membuka aib sy, membuka cerita kite?
awak, sy diam je awk pasal ni. sy tak cerita, sy tak kecoh2. awak, i had one year suffering,awak, sy tanya awk ok, brapa lama je yg kite rasa best, awal2 becinta kan? nak sy ckp kite ada masalah apa
awak sedar tak ape yang awak buat? awak bole salahkan sy yang sy ada bf baru ke apa. dah tu, sy tunggu awak brapa thn? sy tunggu awak berubah brapa thn? awak berubah kejap, lama2 buat jugak.
awak, sy prmpuan, sy tau, tapi sy perlukan respect dr awk. sy dah jadi mcm apa dah tempat awak lepaskan emo awak sume.
awak ingat sy takde pasaan? awak cube letak perempuan lain kat tempat sy. tlg la letak.
sy byk good memories dgn awk. sy syg awk sume. tapi sy tak fhm. nape awk buat sy mcm ni? dkt hp awak msg sy lain, awak mcm nak bgtau org yg sy salah. ape kene ni awak? awak, kite due salah ok?
pastu sume nak sapot awk. diorang tahu cerita sebenar? diorang nak tak kat tempat sy? n sy tak kesah la org nak kate ape. sbb sy tau kalo diorang kat tempat sy, sebulan pun diorang tak thn. ape lagi 3 thn lbh.
awak, you're good, you're fine. tapi u re acting stupid. sy bg cth: ayat awak ni.. "always think before u act" --> ape cite ni awak? mcm la sy salah sumenye.
awak msg sy ckp awak menyesal sume, tapi awk kongsi tak bgtau tak org pasal tu? awak cite tak nape kite break bukan sbb sy ada bf? awak cite tak sy tunggu awak brapa lame. silap sy satu, sy ada pengganti cepat. cepat? diorang tau kite dah break setahun?
awak, i keep myself quiet because i dont want to talk bullshit about us. awak ckp "it is not easy as it looks" mcm la sy ni pandang remeh supaya awak heal.
nak sy cerita from A to Z? takpayah. sy tatau awak approve ke tak comment ni. bagus la kalau awak approve supaya org tak becakap2 tak judge2 lagi. nak2 pada sy.
tlg respect sy as i respect you. at least as a human.
i still concern about you, but you're killing me from behind.
p/s : kat sini awak dingin kat dgn sy seolah2 awak nak tunjuk sy salah ke ape ke sy tatau. its ur blog, takpe. i still keep quiet. tapi kat msg awk lain, awk seorang yg supportive and we're close. sy tak fhm. depends on u.
" sy menyesal dgn ape yg sy dah buat pada awak" = ingat yg awak byk kali ckp mcm tu dgn sy?
tapi sy tak fhm, nape jd mcm ni.
harap awak approve comment ni. i dont mind anymore if they know.
buka mata. tak guna kalau sy je berusaha.
comment ni automatik approve,n sy tak buang comment awk...awk,tanyelah mereka semua, mereka tau kisah kita, n ape yang awak katekan tu semua mereka tahu, pasal kite break,n jarak kita break yang lama pun mereka tahu...n sy tahu kenapa mereka diam,dan tak berkata,sebab mereka kenal kita,n mereka segan nak tanye dgn kita... awk,sy tak memburukkan awk,jauh sekali nak menyakiti hati sesiapa pun, sy hormat ape yang awk buat...cuma perasaan awk yang mengatakan begitu,sy tak berkata buruk pada awk, sy nyatakan juga pd mereka,bhw saya menyesal atas apa yang telah sy lakukan dahulu, mereka juga tahu saya ni seorang yang cepat melenting, seorg yang terlalu mengikutkan emosi, mereka semua tahu awk...mereka tahu... sedikit pun saya tak pernah merubah cerita ni...sy memang menyesal atas apa yang sy buat pada awk...
ReplyDeleteawk...jgn kate sy tak berusaha awk...sy dah berusaha selama ni...selama ni...
ok awak. kite bebaik ok? sy tak suke gaduh2. penat tau awk layan emosi..
ReplyDeleteplz dont say "its not easy" lagi utk ape2. sy bukan terus senang jugak..
maaf tu begitu sukar nak diucap kan?
ReplyDeleteface to face dgn sy baru dpt tahu ikhlas atau tak semua kemaafan tu sume.
ReplyDeletemane lebih baik? senang diucapkan maaf kemudian lupa atau lebih baik berfikir dulu?
kemaafan dendam yang terindah...:)
ReplyDelete..tumpang lalu..